KinderQuestion.com

I planned to write a post this time about sibling rivalry and fighting between children. But the more I framed the words in my mind, the more I was brought back to the central issue of so many problems in families. It’s not selfishness, though it leads to selfishness and it’s not jockeying for position as alpha child, though that behavior grows from the root.

The real fundamental principal that’s lacking in families where the conflict seems to go on endlessly is the simplest concept imaginable. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. We learned it as a child in Sunday school. Luke 6:31 and again in Matthew 7:12, but the truth is universal and expressed in some way through every religion and faith, ancient and modern. Even the Hippies expressed it through the belief that all the ills of the world could be healed with enough love. Of course, that philosophy was fueled by some other substances that aren’t relevant to this discussion…

I’m not advising on religion, because I don’t consider myself a religious person. But the Golden Rule is more about living morally and ethically and with humanity. We have to make our children understand that they are part of something much larger than themselves and that begins at home within the framework of their family. Each child is a cog in the family machine. They are important in the smooth operation of that machine, but they need to realize that they are not the only part or even the most important part. It takes everyone supporting and encouraging and doing unto each other to make the family happy and strong.

As I said it sounds very simple and almost simple minded when considered as a solution to the bickering and outright violence that siblings can inflict on each other. But there is enormous power in those simple words. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

But as with all other teaching tools I plan to share, you can’t preach it to your children and expect them to immediately change their behavior, you have to live by the same philosophy yourself. The children need to see it enacted in your daily life by how you treat your spouse, your family, friends and strangers. From the simplest courtesy to the grocery clerk to stopping to help a stranded family on the road, remember your children are watching and learning whether you walk the walk or just talk the talk.

Since this is the first posting in my KinderQuestion.com blog, I’d like to introduce myself and give you a little background on why I decided to create this site.

I’ve been working professionally in the childcare industry for over thirty years. I was originally sent to school by the Air Force to study Early Childhood Education for two years, followed by the Air Force intensive two-year module-training program. During our years in the military and after my husband retired from the service I’ve had the opportunity to work all over the country in private, church and for-profit childcare facilities, eventually owning my own state licensed center here in Mobile Alabama.

My proudest accomplishment by far though has been raising five great kids in our blended family who have blessed me with eight incredible grandchildren along the way.

So, I guess you could say I’ve paid my dues in order to feel confident sharing what I’ve learned with all the parents out there in the child-rearing trenches every day.

Is raising kids a battle? Some days I bet you’d say…yes! But it doesn’t have to be. Some of you, when reading my advice and hearing my opinions will say that I’m old-fashioned. I don’t mind that at all. There’s room in our high tech world for some old-fashioned common sense. I’m an outspoken child advocate, believing that children must be loved, nurtured and protected at all cost. But do I believe it “takes a village to raise a child”? No. Does it take a ton of governmental regulation and enforcement? No. It takes a family, and specifically it takes parents who put the job of parenting above all else.

You’ll see by the menu on the side that I have a couple of articles already available on some of the most common skirmishes parents face. I’ll continue to add to the reference list while updating the KinderQuestion.com blog often with new topics. I’ll also be providing links to sites and articles that I think you might enjoy and find interesting.

So, I hope you come by regularly to check out the site and become part of the KinderQuestion.com family in the comments section. You can also shoot me an email question and I’ll answer as many as I can in future posts.

Thanks for visiting!

Carol Tate

ctate@kinderquestion.com